the way his eyes find yours and you stand a little uneasy, unsure. His look holds a small quiet promise that perhaps it’ll ignite something. That maybe, if he keeps looking at you and you keep catching his eyes, he’ll move toward you and say the things your heart longs for him to say.
sometimes looks are just looks and they aren’t strong enough to move mountains.
when my heart breaks
when i can’t breathe because my chest feels tight
when the stars in the sky shine so bright
when the wind blows hard
when the rain pours down
when the storm is strong and i’m afraid i’ll get lost in the night
when the whispers of a man’s promise are broken
when i’m drowning in my own sorrow
when tomorrow seems so far away
when i say goodbye
when i won’t ever say hello to you again
when life doesn’t go as planned
when people steal, cheat, and lie
when people die
when people leave
when people break my heart
when people love me
when people hug me
when people remind me you are good
when the wait seems too long and too hard and too far away
when tears fill my eyes
when i lay awake at night and my thoughts flood my mind
when i’m happy
when i’m sad
when the sun shines through my window blinds
when the morning birds sing
when the train shares its loud deep horn
when i lose what i want to keep
when i don’t get what i want
when he looks at me but nothing changes
when i feel alone and lost
when hopelessness pinches at my heart
when my mind can’t figure out how to let go
when my heart doesn’t want to let go of him
when i write and try to find my voice
when i find my voice
when i lose my voice
when the past haunts my mind and scares my future
when i don’t know who i am
when i don’t know what i want
when i don’t know how to move on
when i don’t love you well
when i’m mean, hurtful, hateful to those i love
when i don’t love well
when others don’t love me well
when i’m judgemental
when my insecurities take over
when the darkness falls around me and i decide i want to stay in its shadow
when you pull me out
when tomorrow’s promise is everything begins again but it all still feels the same
when i wake up and decide to be good, kind, loving to myself
when i learn how to love well
when i find the peace that passes all understanding
when i realize life may not be about being happy
She lays in bed tonight watching YouTube videos raging from trailers to comedy to music – quietly wishing for a long car ride.
There’s a juxtaposition of silence and sound in a car. The wind blowing, the music blaring, the damn air condition fussing… crafted by a silence of being alone. (If she sings at the top of her lungs, she knows her neighboring car driver will only see her lips moving but will not hear the possible off-key.)
You see no matter how loud the noises sound, the silence feels louder as her thoughts pound themselves out. Hitting, bruising and escaping the inside… they beg to render into the silence of sound.
“You do some good processing in the car, don’t you?” He asks.
A small smile covers her lips as the dots meet.
“I do,” she can’t help but say, maybe realizing this for the first time.
How can she deny the vibrant power of a solo ride? Trapped in a vehicle with the noises within? All she can do is finally confront them. There are no distractions – even the music drowns under the volume of her mind.