meeting a challenge

I sat at the desk with a VBS manual open up before me and my eyes flickered to the time.

First day and I’m already impatient.

I’ll blame it on uncertainty of what comes next.  I came into work not sure of what I should expect.  I established my work time.  Do I leave on time since today isn’t really an official work day or do I stick it out.

Answer: I stick it out.

I read over the manual and remember his words: Get familiar with it – you’ll need to know it inside out.

When I started to read, I got the feeling of knowing and not knowing.  The information was recognizable but not at the same time.  I want to test how well I’ll need to know it.  Surely, just enough to get by right?

I’m here to help.  Yes.

Time strikes 1:30 pm – I’m done.  I linger, not sure if I’m allowed to leave or not.  Finally, I arise and walk to his office and give notice that I’m taking my leave.  It’s not as dramatic as I predicted, he fares me off.

I return to my office and collect my things.  Then reality dawns on me.

In seconds, I’m back speaking to him.  “I’m not leading this whole thing, am I?”

I ask.  I’m sure he can notice the clear doubt in my voice.

“Oh yes, it’s going to be your baby.”

I wrapped up the conversation fast because I needed to process his words.

Now, there was still confusion about this on my side for a couple of weeks, but soon enough it got cleared up and I became fully aware of my responsibility.

Either way, I was mortified by this revelation for a few hours.  I tried to wrap my mind around it and give myself enough credit to believe I could handle this job.  (I’m my worst critique and I know it.)

It’s two weeks after the event – about eleven weeks since I found out I would direct a VBS event this summer.

And this is what I have to say:  Sometimes a challenge isn’t as scary as it first appears to be.

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