I live in a world of pleasers and I myself, am a pleaser.
There’s nothing wrong with being a pleaser. Not when I don’t become expandable. However, I have a problem when people expect me to be a pleaser. When they silently judge me the moment I say no.
The problem is I get into molds and I have a hard time breaking out.
When I’m without a job, without a purpose I become lazy. I don’t contribute and I slowly begin to fade into mindless entertainment. It’s easier to do nothing. Meanwhile, each day passes without me being able to halt time.
I’m not okay with this attitude, but it happens.
The days I do decide to contradict this pattern, are good days.
However, in my slow dwindling, I’m not silently begging others to find ways to awaken my time. Even in my dwindling, I am satisfied with this notion of laziness because I know it will soon end. I won’t allow myself to stay here forever, I’ll get up and eventually move on.
Today, I’ve only been outside twice. I went out to sit and read for a while. Later my aunt, took it upon herself to spice up my day. She asked me to accompany her on a trip to Target and then picking up my cousins from school. A filler trip, really.
I said no.
I didn’t want to go.
Her reply was, “You’re becoming a hermit!”
It was sarcastic and she laughed. This side of my family is heavy on the sarcasm scale. I can be quite the sassy mouth myself, but I really do prefer a life without constant sass.
I attempted to laugh.
“I already am one,” I quickly corrected her.
So much for being a pleaser, right? Looks like I’ve learned the word most adults forget as they get older. A word children wouldn’t know how to live without.
The word is no.