in the quiet room of a psychiatrist’s office?

“How do you feel?”  I hear her voice ask.

My eyes open.  I look around.  How long have I kept them closed?

Wait.  Where am I?  And then I register and look at her eyes.  I settle into my seat.

How do you feel?

Shall I answer?  Does she even deserve to know?  Questions.  I feel…. afraid.  Truth.  Indeed, truth.  I’m petrified and I’m not sure why.  This may be my first time, but I’m not too shabby with people.  I can smile, take their order and come back with their drink, right?

I’m pretty sure it’s not that bad.  

It’s sick and weird because this weird part of me is actually excited.  I get a weird high from pushing myself only to find myself scrambling to catch up.  All the while feeling the ultimate feeling of fear.  To step into this unknown place – I may have been in before – take an order and act confidant.  

“Honestly?”  My voice cracks and I glance around.

“Honestly.”  Her voice is calm, so my eyes catches her own.

“Confused.  I feel,” she learns forward to her my voice, “Confused.”

I wonder what tomorrow night will bring…


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