tonight i mourn

Yet again, another time of transition.

My current season at GTHOP has ended and tomorrow I fly to Greece.  I’ve always called Greece home and always will, but in the last month and a half I’ve grown to love a new home.  My home in TC.  I have my own set of keys.  I don’t have my own room, but I love that I share one with a girl I love beyond words.  A place of simplicity.  I love simplicity.  I want to learn to live in an even more simpler way.

Anyways.

Tomorrow I return to the place I was born and pretty much raised in.  I love Greece so much.  I’m just not ready to let go of this season that has come to an end (for now, I hope).  My deepest desire right now is to return and perhaps, by God’s grace I will.  However, my heart is knitted to TC.  And although, I know so well that the moment I get home the stickiness and hardness of this transition will cease I still can’t help but mourn for what has ended.

I always tend to mourn.  I was so sad when my school days came to an end.  So worried of the future.  I couldn’t imagine having to go through years and years of building friendships once more, but I didn’t have to.  I’ve never felt such heartache of saying goodbye to friends.  I try to explain this to people outside of my friends up north, but it doesn’t make sense.  And why should I been so in love with a place I have no ties to, right?  But I do.

And I do because God is present, because I worship with those beautiful broken people and they with me.  With some all we did was sing on a set together and that was our bonding time.  God’s love just flowed and was present.

I miss them all.  So much.  And I mourn for their physical presence in my life, but I know greater things are going to come.  I’m just scared of letting these small things go from my grips.  It’s so easy to stay in the safety and comfort of habit, rather than step out into the unknown.

Ugh.  My heart is sad and that is okay.  Mourning may last but joy will eventually come!

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