I need a filter or taboo’s need to stop existing.
Two things happened today causing light-bolt moments. Well, it was more like: “I totes want to write about that.” Mostly because I want to talk about what happened / what I realized. I enjoy sharing my thoughts and terribly awesome moments. Even if I am sharing them to myself.
Today, Sarah and I didn’t do much. In fact, we sat around the house and were lazy. I enjoyed my leisure-ness, actually. I normally have a hard time doing nothing. Sitting around agitates me and often makes me feel useless. Not today, however. In contrast, I was quiet satisfied with hanging around the house and taking things slow. I suppose this response is due to the scorching pain I awoke to this morning.
Yes. It’s – as some would say – that time of the month. The time when all ladies lose their cool and crave chocolate like crazy. When their hormones play tricks on them and make them seem mad. It’s ‘Suzy’ time. She comes in fierce and overthrows all defenses. There’s no way to prevent her strong-will character. Midol has been my savior for the past months, but even that pill sometimes isn’t strong enough.
In other words, I was cray-cray-craayyzeeey today.
Even amongst my happily leisure day, I found my focus unstable and my belly hungry. My goals for today were not met: I had plans of calling World Vision and Not-for-Sale. Neither happened. (Mostly because I don’t want to talk on the phone with a person I don’t know.)
I guess those were my only real plans.
I had the goal of playing the piano – making sure I keep my fingers moving – I suppose, I did a tiny bit today.
Sarah and I ended up pulling out a puzzle to pass the time…. Actually, I just wanted us to have something out for when Uncle Steve got home. He’d ask what we did today, at least we could say we worked on a puzzle for four hours. That’s being productive, right? I’m not sure starting one was wise though. When I don’t do a puzzle for a while, I forget my completely diverse feelings for them. I both love and hate them. I get so obsessed. Puzzles are like a drug, addiction. Once they’ve been started….they must be ended. At one point or another. However, the sooner the better – for my own sanity.
Uncle Steve came home. I talked with a cousin about going Downtown Chicags and meeting her for dinner. Sarah and I would go. I love cities to death, but I hate the journey into Chicago. Takes forever.
This is how the conversation went:
“Well, I had a plan for you girls for tomorrow…” Uncle Steve said, giving us no hint to what he had in mind. Apparently, he wasn’t entirely fond of our city plans. He gobbled down some of his meatloaf and cheesy potatoes.
Sarah and I waited in silence for a second.
“What’s that?” I asked, breaking the stillness, full of curiosity. I absolutely love when he comes up with ideas. Mostly, because I find Uncle Steve feels rather cleaver for himself. And he’s had this tendency these past days of wanting to make sure Sarah and I don’t sloth around. A factor we do not. We’ve used our time…relatively well, I’d say.
“Well,” he began and we waited, “I was thinking you could go to the water park. There’s a deal and it’s only $12, which really isn’t bad at all.”
My first thought was: Well, we have plans for the city. Then: Well, Suzy’s here….
I looked at Sarah, surely she knew what I was thinking. A grin rested on her lips and I knew all she could think about was how great her dad’s suggestion sounded. Sarah loves pools, watermarks, etc.
“I–I uh, I don’t think–”
There was a pause and my eyes rested on Sarah’s. She said something trying to convince me. They both did and I tried to just put a halt to it all. Thinking what might be the best way to indicate my situation. Nothing worked.
“I’ll just tell you,” I finally burst out. “You have two daughters, Uncle Steve, this should be fine.” I knew full well it’d make him feel uncomfortable, but he wasn’t getting the memo. Not that I had led on well, but I didn’t know how to state my obvious. “I’m on my period and I don’t wear tampons…. So, that won’t work.” I paused and he kept his eyes on his food. He said nothing.
My sister always says, “It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.”
I guess, I don’t believe that statement anymore. Why? Well, when I said what I said to my uncle I didn’t feel an ounce of awkwardness. He’s married to a woman and has two daughters – this matter about periods shouldn’t be awkward. Actually, I don’t think it should be ‘taboo’ feel subject at all. It’s a naturally thing, each month. It’s not like it happens to a few women. It shouldn’t be awkward. However, even though it wasn’t awkward for me and I didn’t make it a big deal when I said what I said, I knew my uncle felt uncomfortable. Therefore, the only way awkwardness doesn’t exist is if both parties don’t allow it to creep in.
That was the first thing I wanted to write about.
My second thing is this – I ate the most random things today. I had the oddest cravings.
For dinner I ate: a pork chop, a frozen pizza and waffles. I’ve decided that if God so gives me the strength and courage one day of being pregnant…. I really think I’ll either have the oddest cravings in the world or I won’t want to eat anything in the world. Today has been so bizarre in the food department.
Oh! Recently, I was told I should get a twitter. I don’t actually think tweeting is bad or stupid, but a thought in my head today did click. I should never get a twitter because I would take advantage of it too much. Seriously, though, there’s no reason for there to be an account somewhere that documents my every thought. I know for a fact that I would love it too much and I would write each passing thought. Good or bad it wouldn’t matter.
And honestly, that does not need to happen.