maybe one day he’ll get the real answer

“Do you remember?”

I hear him ask.  Over and over and over again.

He won’t stop.  I’ve asked him, but he won’t.  His memory stays on replay.  Asking the say question as he believes I’ll give him a different question each time.

“No.”  It’s always the same.  I never change my answer.  I just say, no.

“Do you remember, Nic?”

“No.”

Sometimes, I think about saying yes.  Actually, sometimes, I think I change my answer last minute and say my automatic sounding response.  But I do think about it.  I do think about saying, yes.

“Do you remember?”

“No.”

I’ve asked others to make him stop.  To tell him no one remembers.  They say they’ll tell him, but I think they only encourage him to keep asking.  He keeps pestering me believing I’ll answer differently.  Like I said, I’ve thought about saying yes, but yes would qualify for more questions.

He could possibly ask then, something other than  Do you remember?  the thought scares me.  I’m too used to his single question and my single reply.

I get angry, though, cause he doesn’t stop.  He won’t stop.  I see the determination in his eye.  He thinks the more he asks the more he’ll convince me of something I don’t know.  With his short or long pauses.  Sometimes he asks over and over again, second after second.  Then others, he’ll wait an hour or two until he asks again.

Maybe he expects to catch me off guard.  He has once or twice as I’ve started saying the wrong answer only to clarify and correct myself sharply with the correct.

“Do you remember?”

yes  “No.”

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