the biker laying in the grass

“I can’t believe this happened.”

Nothing rings louder than those words in this jumbled head.

You think you’re in control.  You go through red lights and barely stop at stop signs, and allusion yourself with believing nothing bad will ever happen.  Somehow, you kid yourself out of remembering how dangerous and faint this world truly comes to be.  You forget life is a vapor – here one day and gone the next.

The light was faint and the mind registered: biker.

Only the light from his heading was seen.  Nothing else.  Not the bike.  Not the biker.  A mystic faint light coming your way. You knew the moment he edged toward the left it was all a done deal.  A collision would happen and nothing would stop it.  You even hoped to prevent it by yelling, “Don’t do it, Andy!”  As if your cry from another vehicle would bring him to his senses.

The side shattered and you didn’t even pay attention to the cause of its shatter.  He pulled his car to the side and you soon followed suit, parking yours beside his.  All you could think was to yell at him.  How could he have not seen?  Then again, you come back to the faint light.  How it came out of no where.  How it seemed to fly by so quickly.

“He could be dead,” said another and your mind stayed in a constant frozen state.  Nothing made any sense.  This doesn’t just happen.  A friend doesn’t just hit another person resulting in a death.  This just isn’t happening.  We were headed for a night of fun with fireworks.  This is not real.  It’s probably a dream.  My mind is blank.

I walk forward – wanting to keep my distance from others – to look at the body.  I know it’ll be dead.  In my bones, I know there’s no chance this man has lived.  He flew 300 feet or so from the scene of the accident.  He was on a bike.  I knew the moment I began walking near he was dead.  I also knew I should feel remorse, sadness, anything but I felt nothing.  A blob of numbness subdued my being.  I walked closer to take a look.  I wanted to see the body.  This sick part of me wondered what a real live dead body looked like.  Her arms were on his chest as she pushed up and down, performing CPR.  People were praying, but I knew it was a done deal.  He was gone.  Just like that.

So you allow yourself to believe you’re in control.  You kid yourself into believing stuff like this happens, but not to you.  However, what you forget is that life is a vapor.  It can fade away within a blink of an eye – leaving you either devastated or aware of its presence.

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