His eyes were stern and full of self-righteousness.
I despised the way he said, “No.” He crushed my spirit without even understanding the hurt. He simply made himself lord and went on his way.
I felt the tears well-up and they were ready, ready to stream down like rivers. Had he pushed his so-called-wisdom on me, I would have collapsed into brokenness. My heart is not meant for disappointment in those who I expect more than just right living.
Dear Dr. Professor of mine, I expected more from you. I still do.
But this is life. People disappoint and lives get ruined. In all my misery and pain, I do not blame you, however. I have come to see the importance of your harshness. The cruelty has turned into depth and understanding. Without your disappointment and misbehavior I would not know what hatred looks or feels like. I would not have learned how to release my pain and anger to God. I would still innocently walk around believing hatred is only a faulty perception. I would believe I could never hate, but that is not true. I can and the ugliness of hatred is too much to bear.