reflections of old

His eyes were stern and full of self-righteousness.

I despised the way he said, “No.”  He crushed my spirit without even understanding the hurt.  He simply made himself lord and went on his way.

I felt the tears well-up and they were ready, ready to stream down like rivers.  Had he pushed his so-called-wisdom on me, I would have collapsed into brokenness.  My heart is not meant for disappointment in those who I expect more than just right living.

Dear Dr. Professor of mine, I expected more from you.  I still do.

But this is life.  People disappoint and lives get ruined.  In all my misery and pain, I do not blame you, however.  I have come to see the importance of your harshness.  The cruelty has turned into depth and understanding.  Without your disappointment and misbehavior I would not know what hatred looks or feels like.  I would not have learned how to release my pain and anger to God.  I would still innocently walk around believing hatred is only a faulty perception.  I would believe I could never hate, but that is not true.  I can and the ugliness of hatred is too much to bear.

Posted in Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s