the overwhelming feelings of emotion

“I’m a weeper.”  She said confidently.

Never in my life had I heard anyone proudly claim she or he was moved to tears easily.  She went on to say how the slightest things make her cry — things in relation to people.

And here I thought crying was a weakness.

Ever since hearing her say this, I’ve looked at crying in a different light.  Today, has been a day for slight weeping.  As my mother put it: bittersweet.  I know I am returning to a place I enjoy and love — but what I leave behind is costly.  For the next few months, I’ve left my family.  A group of people – who no matter what I say or do – will always love me for who I am.

To be honest, I’m very bashful about my tears.  I feel invaded if others seem me cry — as if I am being weak.

However, over time God is teaching me the importance of tears.  He wept when Lazarus was in the tomb.  I can’t say for certain about what exactly Jesus was weeping about — Lazarus’ death, Lazarus’ sisters, disbelief.  Yet, a big part of me believes Jesus wept because he was moved by those who he loved.  He cried for his dear ones, for maybe having lost something.  Jesus cried in relation to people!  Not only, he wept in front of people.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, mostly to myself, perhaps tears are not meant to be a secret.  Maybe healing – not only for the self – comes through tears.  Maybe joy comes through tears.  Maybe people are moved to love more by tears.  I’m not sure.

I am learning to accept that when I cry, I am not being weak — but perhaps, I am being stronger.

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