never satisfied

I never want to be satisfied by this world.

I’ve come to this conclusion today; I never want to be satisfied by this world.  I never want to wake up in the morning and be content with the way my life is or with the world in itself.  I never want my heart to be fulfilled.  For the moment my heart is content, will be the moment it stops searching for God.

There’s an obvious reason for the groaning of our souls, hearts, spirits.  My being groans for fulness–but the only fulness comes with God.  For years now, I’ve thought it a bad thing that I’m not content, with myself and with God.  I’ve thought I must be doing something wrong because God can’t satisfy me.  However, say the day came, I was satisfied–wouldn’t that mean I’d stop pursuing as well?  I’d stop looking for God, I’d stop desiring Him–because, I found everything I needed to find in Him; there’d be no point in continuing this pursuit.  I’d be complete, fulfilled.

Like a lovesick lover who never gets enough of its beloved, such is the groaning one should uphold for God.

I never want to stop wanting, I always want to want more of God.

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