In three weeks my Junior year of College will be over. In the next three weeks I have lots to do and many things to write. At this point, most of the time, it seems like I won’t be able to get everything done. However, by the time the semester ends, I will have.
As I glance backward, I cannot help but reminisce about how interesting this past year has been. Often at times I really like to pretend like I know what’s going on or what will happen. If anything, looking at this past school year and my summer experiences, I should say, I definitely never have no idea what will happen. My expectations of myself can often end up feeling irrational or unmet. However, as I glance back, I am at peace.
God has taught me so many deep things this past year. He has taken me deeper when I thought I was already deep. (Again, my silly belief if ‘knowing.’) I have grown a whole bit and I am at peace for my current position. It’s silly now to look back and remember the things I worried over for this year. A good reminder for the future, no reason to worry.
As of currently, I am slowly mourning the change that is going to take place in my life. God has blessed me with the opportunity of having both my sisters (at different times) to myself. He has blessed me with at least two years with each. The time for sisterhood has slightly ended, no longer is it Gina, Kali, and I against the long road trips and church visiting in the States. No longer are we solemnly looking out and responsible for each other. Both my sisters are blessed with wonderful men to do that now. However, the mourning of that relationship is still there.
As I look back, I am thankful for the many wonderful, crazy, and long lasting memories all three of us have made together. I thank God for giving me two sisters I can always depend on. Though the future might hold long periods of time in which we never speak, I know that no matter what they’ll always be there.
I wonder what Jesus thought when He was about to lay down His life. Was He mournful about the intimate and physical relationships He was leaving back? Was He sat that for a while He would not touch us, hold us, and keep us close? I’m sure His need to feel affection by man is not merely as much as my need. However, I wonder if He mourned about leaving that intimacy He held with His disciples. I think He anticipates the day of His return. I think He does.