the outside

I’m always on the outside
looking in.
Begging silently to be on
the inside, but clueless how
to change anything.
I see people laughing and
having a good time with each
other.  But I’m stuck on the outside.
I’m stuck.
Always, there is a gap.
How do I get in the circle.
How do I experience what they
experience?
Is this my place?  Am I suppose
to be on the outside?

No.  I refuse to believe it.
And so I will push.
I will relentlessly push to be
on the inside.  I will push to
be both the inside and
outside.

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