Tonight I have been thinking about words.
Lately, I have been telling people that I love writing. At times I’m not sure if it’s something I’ve come to love because I hope one day to be really good at it, to say hey! Writing is my talent. Or if it’s truly something I love. Regardless of the reason why I say I love writing, I do. I love putting my thoughts in words. Having other’s read it. Knowing that perhaps, something I may say, influences a positive action or thought.
Well, lately, I’ve also been struggling with putting my thoughts into words. I’ve been struggling with wanting to write. I haven’t wanted to really write. But tonight, I’m thinking about words. It seems as time passes I come to acknowledge their power. You know, words have so much power. I don’t want to credit them with more than they deserve. But, I mean, come on. God spoke, He used words, and the world was created! Jesus, the Word, became flesh. Power.
Because of that…
I’m scared of the pain my words may have. Yes, encouragement is amazing. Speaking words of truth is good. But what happens when I get angry? When my temper is short and my anger is high? When I purposely say things, I know will hurt. Just so whomever I am speaking to will feel pain?
I’m scared of one day having children and hurting them with my words. Telling them something that will stick with them forever. I’m scared of working with children and doing the same. I hate knowing that when I get mad, I don’t control myself. Words spill out of my mouth with the power to hurt. To cut deep.
Today at church the message was about having an upright heart. A heart looking straight to God. Going only for Him. Not gonna lie, having an upright heart that constantly goes straight, isn’t easy. It’s so easy to linger right… then maybe left. Then be like, oh, I should be going straight. Thank goodness God shows mercy. I’m not a saint. I’m not perfect. No one is. But, I want to have an upright heart when it comes to words. I don’t want my hurtful words to be made flesh.
God, I pray, that my words will be words of joy. Kindness. Helpfulness. Of encouragement. Hope. Love. Words that bring freedom. I pray, You’ll bind me free and those around me from words that hurt. Spiteful. Words of hate. I pray Your words will be above mine. Keeping my words always upright.