a writer

I am a writer.

My Father in heaven has told me I am a writer. He takes delight in me. I have this yearning in my soul. My glorious and wonderful Lord wants me to write about His will. I am a writer. I write out what is in my heart. Yesterday I was prophesied over. I know many people don’t believe God works through people, that He touches their lives and they can voice His desires. But I believe. I believe He uses His people far more often than we think He does. He uses His people to empower His desires in our lives.

I was told a couple of things yesterday. All from which brought me peace. I love God. Not only when He reveals things to me, but also when He teaches me slowly that He is more powerful than I often believe.

I have always had this problem of seeing my worth and my value. On the outside I might seem well and good, but on the inside many times all I tell myself are negatives.

I tell myself I am not good enough to get the grades I need.
God says patience my child, grades don’t matter.
I tell myself people don’t see me, they don’t see my soul.
God says patience my child, I see you.
I tell myself I am not desired, no one cares to know me.
God says patience my child, I desire and want to know you.
In times of great weakness:
I tell myself no one loves me.
God says, I love you more than you could ever know.

Yesterday, a lady whom I just loved right away. She was so kind, loving, peaceful, with a lovely smile on her face. Jesus shined through her. This lady, Dawn, came next to me and hugged me and began praying for me. She told me I am beautiful, that God thinks I am beautiful. I cried. Her arms around me felt like Jesus had come and taken me in.

She told me how I always feel like no one ever seems me. That men pass by and never notice me. Dawn said how at times people see me and think I’m not friendly, but she said that’s not true. She said something more about that, but I can’t remember. She told me I look at myself and wonder why God gave me the body He did. She told me the day would come when my beauty would shine. She said that just like Esther, who was plain (in a way) and no one knew her, so am I. Just as Esther was hidden from the world and then set forward by God, so would I be. She said that just like Esther was later noticed by all of Israel, so would I be. One day, God has the man for me. He’s saving me for him. Keeping me pure. Hiding me from unwanted eyes. Then, one day, my Father in Heaven, when the time has come, will set this man fourth. All I could do is smile. I’ve fallen in love with God and His love.

I thought she was almost done, but she wasn’t. Dawn looked at me suddenly and said, “You’re a writer.” For a few seconds I just looked at her. How did she know? Then finally I smiled and nodded. She told me God was going to use me to write about His will and love. To write about His desires. She told me that God was going to use me to teach for a while (anyone who knows me, would know when she told me that I felt like laughing. Christi doesn’t teach). She smiled as if she knew what I was thinking. She said I would teach a little bit. I would teach young writers how to write for God. I will teach. I think that shocked me the most. I’m like, God, really? You know… I think I can’t. I feel like He’s just chuckling and saying, wait beloved. Dawn hugged me lastly and then told me with a smile, “God just told me you’re going to write some songs too.” Funny thing, earlier that day I had tried writing something (a song) in the prayer room.

Oh, God is good. I never want to stray from is way. I just love Him. He works in ways we don’t know. As of Him and He will give. Wait patiently on the Lord and you will receive. I have a hard time having patience. But Lord, please give me patience!

I am a writer. A writer for my Heavenly Father.

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