i want to go deeper

I have this great desire to go deeper in my relationship with God.

Some days I know, I choose the world over Him. I know, yet I do it. Sometimes the temptation is great and hard to resist. Whether that is doing my homework and not wasting time on facebook. Or knowing I have time to spend it Him, which even the concept of that is wrong. Listen to that: “I have time to spend with Him.” So stupid. I should spend time with Him even when I think I have none.

In Crazy Love, Francis talks about my love for God should be the same with a person I am in love with. He says how… often people will do anything, literary, anything to see the one they love. Yet… I say I love God, and I do, but my love isn’t crazy. I want it to be. I want to wake up in the morning and be SO  EXCITED to spend it with God. I want to go to work with God, go to lunch with God, go to classes God, do my homework with God, play in the snow with God, talk about God in front of God, walk around my campus with God, tell my heart’s desires to God, remember God in everything I do. I just want Him to be present. I don’t want to go through my day, as if it has a routine and never think about Him. I love thinking about Him. I think, thinking about Him is better than thinking about a crush. Crushes are stupid, honestly, I get nothing out of liking a person… while I get everything out of loving my God.

I want to go deeper. That’s my prayer.

I’m so excited. I’m going to the International House of Prayer. I think God has something very interesting for me in store. He’s Great. I love Him. I know like without Him would suck. I’ve seen like without Him and wonder how people do it.

God give me your love, boldness, and desires. This is all I ask. Amen.

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