frustration

I’m so frustrated right now. I went online to see if my final grades are up… which I’m positive all my will probably be B’s, and saw that apparently my GPA went down from what it was. I know this is silly and it doesn’t matter. Especially in 10, 20, 30 years… but at the moment it’s annoying to me. It makes me mad, annoyed, and slightly disappointed with myself. Yet… I sit here writing this, with the following two verses coming in mind.

Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Sufficient in other words: enough, abundant, plentiful, satisfying.

His power is made perfect in my weaknesses. Honestly, at this moment, I read what Paul is saying and have a hard time believing it. I often wish school didn’t exist with grades. Basically because I feel like I just end up comparing myself constantly to those around me. I learn about someone having a lower GPA than myself, and I feel better. It’s wrong. I hate that trail of thought. & yet, I comfort myself with it.

Tenth Avenue North has a song called satisfy me Lord. Honestly, I just want to be satisfied by Him. I just wish these frustrations didn’t have such a strong hold on me. I wish I didn’t feel all the time that I have to prove I’m good or better than others. I feel it all the time and I hate it. I compare myself to many things. Yet, His grace is sufficient for me. His power is found perfect in my weaknesses. When I am weak, I am strong. Paul is so wish. I yearn to be like him and Solomon. I yearn for wisdom than knowledge.

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