New thought. Different from the one I was referring to before.
Expectations: we all have them. I have them… maybe to the extreme. I am not sure. Somedays I feel like I understand my expectations more and others not so much. Usually when my expectations aren’t met, it makes me sad even disappointed. I just have παραξενιές! Which is a Greek word and honestly, I don’t know what the translation in English is.
I’m tired of having expectations. I am tried of not being filled with God’s Spirit. I always do things and then expect people to act in the same way I would or do, but often… they don’t. Does that make them bad? No, they just don’t act as I would like them to. Why? I don’t know.
Today in chapel… it was so good. I want to be filled with the Holy Spirit. I want to worry about what the Spirit worries and not my own worries. I want to be used completely by God. I want to finally give God my desires and expectations. I want Him to just place me in His hands and hold me close. Remind me, all in this world will pass. Then why worry?
I just think about Hasmik, the adorable little girl I sponsor. What about her expectations, her wants, and her desires? She might be young still… but those things are there. Does she even know how deep the Father’s love is for her? Does she know how much He wants to know her and love her? Does she know that Jesus really did come and die for her sins? & that it’s not just a story?
I am tired and wounded and weary. I have all these expectations which lead to no where. & here I am, with all these burdens that are SO heavy. Desires which I cannot met. A hope only You can fulfill. Remind me daily, that Your yoke is easy and Your burden light. Remind me that You will give me rest! Because I forget. I wrap myself in my needs, desires, and wants. Then I exclude You from everything. Fill me with Your Spirit, like a rushing wide that will not faint or grow weary. A fire that will burn and burn and burn. This is my desire: to know You more & be filled with Your Spirit. Amen