forgot

I had a thought about something I wanted to share, but I forgot. I remember it being a good thought.

I was in the upper level of the school’s library when it came to mind. I had about ten minutes before I was going to have to meet some girls from one of my classes for a peer review of a paper. When I finally came to wordpress.com I realized I had to go downstairs to meet with the girls. I thought about writing down something to remember what my thought was… but then decided I didn’t have to because I’d remember!

But, alas, I forgot.

Today I spent about four hours in the library. Half of the time I actually did work, the other half I didn’t. After talking to my mom (in the beginning), I decided to watch an episode from a TV show I like. Then I went to dinner, then came back worked for an hour, then I went to the meeting which caused me to forget my thought, then I went back to my paper and finished it.

If some people haven’t figured it out, I am a shy person. Today my flute teacher told me I have to play something for the music lab, my school has. I don’t want to. I’d rather play in a recital… were my hopes are that not many people will come… then knowing I might have to play in front of 50 people. It is different singing or playing an instrument when others are singing/playing along… then playing by yourself & all attention is on you. It makes me nervous… I always hated those.

Today my higher one account told me I am -$114. Somehow… I didn’t count or remember correctly, but I ended up spending money to buy some books & giving money to some organizations without remembering everywhere I might give money to. However, this upset me. This isn’t me. I don’t waste my money. I don’t have (-) minus–so dollars in my account. I just don’t. That isn’t who I am. I am responsible and watch out. I freaked out and still haven’t really calmed down about it. Checked my account every one hour, about. Tomorrow I get paid. Things should be good. I hope. Then.. my mom reminded me. It’s just money. & now… I wish I hadn’t freaked out and made it such a big deal. God will provide. He already is. No reason to worry.

I’d like your peace, Father. Peace about school. Peace about relationships. Peace about feelings. Peace in everything.

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