jolly

I have a new favorite word!!

Since, I believe yesterday, I’ve been saying “jolly,” a lot! I just LOVE it. I think… and the only thing I can think about is jolly. Oh jolly olly polly. =D

I smile every time I think about it.

Thought I’d share.

:]

christmas music

Each year we remember
Each year we listen
Each year we love

We remember Christmas music
We listen Christmas music
We love Christmas music

Christmas music always reminds us of Jesus
Christmas music we re-listen to what has been forgotten
Christmas music brings loving expressions

Jesus’ brith is remembered
We stop and listen to our Savior
Love is expressed between families

thanksgiving time

I often wonder where the beginning of saying “thank you” starts.

There are so many things to be thankful about. I forget and this sadness me. I wish I could be more thankful and complain less. I know, I have a tendency of complaining, but I honestly am working on it.

I am so thankful I can come to my grandparents house for thanksgiving. Man, it would really suck if I didn’t have any family in the states to run off to. I don’t know how other international students do it. How they stay away from their family so long. I look forward to the Christmas I can spend at home. Or to an Easter time. I would like that. To be home for Easter.

God,

thanks that I have a sister close by. Thanks for our relationship. Thanks for my younger sister too and my parents. I don’t know what I’d do without them. Thank you for everything. Thank you for my teeth. Thank you for my job. Thank you for you love. Thank you for my school. Thank you for AIRPLANES! Thank you for a driver’s license. Thank you for wonderful roads. Thank you for the sun, the moon, and stars! Thank you for no snow yet! Thank you for water. Thank you for kids. Thank you for friendships. Thank you for life. Thank you for EVERYTHING!

Amen. : )

expectations

New thought. Different from the one I was referring to before.

Expectations: we all have them. I have them… maybe to the extreme. I am not sure. Somedays I feel like I understand my expectations more and others not so much. Usually when my expectations aren’t met, it makes me sad even disappointed. I just have παραξενιές! Which is a Greek word and honestly, I don’t know what the translation in English is.

I’m tired of having expectations. I am tried of not being filled with God’s Spirit. I always do things and then expect people to act in the same way I would or do, but often… they don’t. Does that make them bad? No, they just don’t act as I would like them to. Why? I don’t know.

Today in chapel… it was so good. I want to be filled with the Holy Spirit. I want to worry about what the Spirit worries and not my own worries. I want to be used completely by God. I want to finally give God my desires and expectations. I want Him to just place me in His hands and hold me close. Remind me, all in this world will pass. Then why worry?

I just think about Hasmik, the adorable little girl I sponsor. What about her expectations, her wants, and her desires? She might be young still… but those things are there. Does she even know how deep the Father’s love is for her? Does she know how much He wants to know her and love her? Does she know that Jesus really did come and die for her sins? & that it’s not just a story?

Lord,

I am tired and wounded and weary. I have all these expectations which lead to no where. & here I am, with all these burdens that are SO heavy. Desires which I cannot met. A hope only You can fulfill. Remind me daily, that Your yoke is easy and Your burden light. Remind me that You will give me rest! Because I forget. I wrap myself in my needs, desires, and wants. Then I exclude You from everything. Fill me with Your Spirit, like a rushing wide that will not faint or grow weary. A fire that will burn and burn and burn. This is my desire: to know You more & be filled with Your Spirit. Amen

just so you know…

I have a thought. A post I want to write! I just haven’t had time. It will come eventually! : D

patience & peace

Day in and day out, I’ve wished God would give me the gift of patience. I mean, honestly, how cool would that be? I’d have patience about my future. I’d have patience about my worries. I’d have patience with my loved ones. I’d have patience with the people around me. I’d have patience with the difficulties in life.  I would have PATIENCE IN EVERYTHING. Right now, I’d be jumping up and down because of my awesome patience. Alas, I must admit, I’m not quite good when it comes to patience. I lose it very quick. Well, it depends. However, how could would that be? If I could ask whatever I wanted from God and He would give it right away to me. Because, after He is God, He can do anything. EEE. Wrong answer/thought. How would I learn though? I’d become like a spoiled little child, getting everything my heart desires? Would it be?

I feel like people would destroy the world completely if God gave us everything we wanted. That would be bad, yes.

Today I wrote a paper about orange, for my Biology class. My paper was a Biology & Me and the topic was oranges. For all those of you who do not know, oranges are very very very good for you. First, they have vitamin A. This vitamin is great for good skin and hair, it help with acne! Second, oranges have vitamin B! And this helps mainly with the nervous system and brain health. Third, they have vitaminnn C!! The one we all have come to love and know about. Vitamin C helps boost the immune system and makes people’s bodies stronger, as well as it fights off bad bacteria or viral infections.

Well, would you look at that. God has provided us a fruit (which if we eat everyday) will keep our face & hair looking good, keep our brain kicking, and keep us from getting sick. So, then, can I ask, why do we take so many pills if God’s given us a natural PILL?!

I’ll be eating an orange & apple a day now. You know, they keep the doctor away. :p

Peace.

Dear Father, please give me peace. There are so many things going on in my head. Show me the direction You want me to take. I don’t want to decide this on my own. I want to be sure of Your plan and direction. I pray You will give me a peace when I make my decision for my major. Show me Your ways. Keep me from doing my will, but let Yours be done! Thank You for Your love & kindness.

up and down

Today was a good day. Well, parts of it was.

Often enough things were good… then other times I’d just get annoyed or angry for a while and then things were good again. I don’t think it is wrong to get annoyed or angry about events, but acting upon those emotions this the bad part. I didn’t though.

I had fun today. I played hide-and-go-seek with Megan and Rachel. I hadn’t done that in a long time. Even though we only played two rounds, I found it super fun. I’d love to do it again. I was scared to death at times because everything was pitch black, but it was all worth it. I also went to a basketball game today. I realllly enjoys those. I’d like to go to more games than I do. Maybe be more active in the school’s community. Hmm.

I like Hannah, from 1 Samuel aka Samuel’s mom! One could disagree (I think), but I believe her story shows faithfulness in God. & an example of keeping promises. I’d like her patience. She seems to have some, even though she’d go days without eating and crying all the time. She just seems like a person I’d like to know.

forgot

I had a thought about something I wanted to share, but I forgot. I remember it being a good thought.

I was in the upper level of the school’s library when it came to mind. I had about ten minutes before I was going to have to meet some girls from one of my classes for a peer review of a paper. When I finally came to wordpress.com I realized I had to go downstairs to meet with the girls. I thought about writing down something to remember what my thought was… but then decided I didn’t have to because I’d remember!

But, alas, I forgot.

Today I spent about four hours in the library. Half of the time I actually did work, the other half I didn’t. After talking to my mom (in the beginning), I decided to watch an episode from a TV show I like. Then I went to dinner, then came back worked for an hour, then I went to the meeting which caused me to forget my thought, then I went back to my paper and finished it.

If some people haven’t figured it out, I am a shy person. Today my flute teacher told me I have to play something for the music lab, my school has. I don’t want to. I’d rather play in a recital… were my hopes are that not many people will come… then knowing I might have to play in front of 50 people. It is different singing or playing an instrument when others are singing/playing along… then playing by yourself & all attention is on you. It makes me nervous… I always hated those.

Today my higher one account told me I am -$114. Somehow… I didn’t count or remember correctly, but I ended up spending money to buy some books & giving money to some organizations without remembering everywhere I might give money to. However, this upset me. This isn’t me. I don’t waste my money. I don’t have (-) minus–so dollars in my account. I just don’t. That isn’t who I am. I am responsible and watch out. I freaked out and still haven’t really calmed down about it. Checked my account every one hour, about. Tomorrow I get paid. Things should be good. I hope. Then.. my mom reminded me. It’s just money. & now… I wish I hadn’t freaked out and made it such a big deal. God will provide. He already is. No reason to worry.

I’d like your peace, Father. Peace about school. Peace about relationships. Peace about feelings. Peace in everything.

bad habit

I have this bad habit & it’s hard to admit.

I have this habit of often feeling as if I am not loved. I feel it in vibes and it depends how tired I am. Yet, the feeling is often there.

I don’t know why, because I grew up in (at least I consider it to be) one of the most loving families in the world (yes, I am biased). My parents loved me, my sisters loved me, my grandparents loved me, my aunt & uncles loved me, my cousins loved me. & yet, many times I would end in this stage of feeling unloved.

I don’t understand. God is so many scriptures shows his love for me. Why does it seem like I am never satisfied with the love he has to give me? I seek and want to know him more. I want to grow closer to him. I want to feel God’s love ALL around me. I want him to be the main focus in my life and kick all the distractions away. How wonderful would it be to just be able to worship God day and night? I’d like to do that one day. Spent the whole day just worshiping him. In song, prayer, reading, listening. It would be glorious.

Mom says… when I think words that just bring me down, those are from the devil. I agree. Yet, somehow… his nifty little lies come to my ear & I listen. Lord help me to keep your words in mind. Keep me from listening to the devils lies! Here I am, trying to write in words feels. Hah. I feel as if that is near to impossible. I feel like so long I’ve been a closed book… it’s quite hard to open me up! How does that work?

What is love… ? “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.” 1 Cor. 13. I like how the Bible describes love. By telling us what it is not, it gives us an idea of what it is.

The dictionary says… “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person; a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend; sexual passion or desire; a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.” Eh, this meaning is alright, I suppose.

Dear heavenly father,

I’d like to stop feeling this way. I don’t like it and you know that. Your love is so wide and deep, so filling and amazing, so precious and glorious. I’d like to get lost in your love. From this day forth I’d like your love to be wrapped around me that it will be all I see and feel. Just let your perfect love come and wipe away my fears. I love you Lord Jesus. Honestly, many times I have pondered and realized over and over and over again, my life would be so empty without you. Right now, I need you to refill my cup. Renew my strength. I’d like to run and not grow weary for a while and soar on wings like eagles. I’d like to learn to love others as you love them. To stop casting stones on people when I am with sin as well. Teach me to be satisfied in you. There are so many things I can thank you for. However, at this moment I’d like to thank you for my mom. Thank you for the woman you have made her and the wisdom in words she has. I pray a special blessing on her. Thank you for your love Father. Thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you for your Son.

Amen.

john 8:7b

“If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Quote from Jesus, found in John 8:7b!

I’ve been thinking about this verse lately. I think it is verrryyy interesting.

Yesterday in my small group it was brought up. We were talking about hatred and how does the concept of “hating the sin, but loving the sinner apply.” Then, I thought of what Jesus said in John 8:7b. It’s funny because as Christian’s sometimes it is so easy for us to make one sin bigger than another, when in reality they are all equal. One commandment in the 10 Commandments is not greater than the other. Then… why do we judge others, based off what sins we have come to label as big… and other ones as little?

Our friends & family members are sinners…. yet we love them as if they are not at all. What difference is it for us to forgive a murderer with forgiving a friend who lied to us? Is it not the same? Or how are we blinded of our own sin and only see others?

Romans 3:23 says “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

Maybe we should rethink the whole… my sin isn’t as bad as my friends. Yeah?