traverse city

Time to share about my changing times.

The last two weeks and a half of my life have been beyond anything I could have hoped, anticipated or desired.  My days and life look completely different then they did while enrolled in College.  My soul has rested.  My heart has found peace about my life and future.  I feel free from the constant nagging of staying on top of things and beating time to get work done.  Life feels like an extended Sabbath.  A beautiful Sabbath that I never want to end.

And although, I know for many working people my life may seem so far from understanding, I hope it might bring some courage and fullness to you.

Currently, I am apart of a house of prayer in Traverse City, MI — called, GTHOP (Grand Traverse House of Prayer).  I’m a mix of a full-time and part-time on staff member.  What does this mean?  I spend half of my week inside the prayer room.  My hours and days are: Tuesday from 4 – 8 pm, Thursday 3 – 8 pm, Friday&Saturday noun – 8 pm in the prayer room.  (At the moment, I am there all hours GTHOP is open, expect Tuesdays, because I go in at 4pm and not noun.)

One of my favorite parts of being on staff with GTHOP is how much time I spend worshiping, reading and learning about God.  I read so much more of my Bible now than I did in the past.  I’m living at a place with no wireless Internet and although, this was a bummer at first, I am so thankful.  The only way I can get on the Internet is by going to a bookstore, library or coffee shop.  I love the absence of Internet – I feel like my life has simplified by the lack of being online and being present with people around me.  I have always had a problem with wasting time and now my time feels well-spent.

The adjustment to my new place of living until mid-July surprised me.  I have felt so accepted by the community of GTHOP.  So loved and welcomed.  God has placed some wonderful new friendships in my life – that have truly blessed me beyond words.  He has knitted my heart to this place.  A place I have never had any ties with.  Not necessarily in regards to the house of prayer only, but the way of life, the people, and my environment.

I don’t exactly have a job yet.  However, I’m not concerned at all.  I believe God will provide all I need and He already has provided in ways I never expected.

For example, right now I’m sitting in the prayer room in Kansas City, Missouri.  I drove down yesterday with a new friend that I feel like I’ve known for years.  A friend with whom I clinked almost instantly.  A friend who is teaching me so much.  She has been so wonderful, her friendship life-changing.

My life is completely and utterly different from a month ago.  There are no regrets, no ‘I wish to change’ feelings.  Everything has led from one blessing to another.  God satisfies the soul; there’s no better way to put it.  He is the only source of life.  The only thing that makes sense.  The only one who makes me truly happy.  The only reason for living and breathing.

And He gives such good gifts.

less than a week

I don’t understand the chasm of time.

4 years have flown by.  My anticipation for this season has been long and desirable.  I still cannot wait for the day of my graduation – walking in front of everyone and taking my diploma.

But – still.  The 4 years here have flown by.  Within a day or so, I will be gone not to return in the same way, ever.

If no one else has watched me grow, I have watched myself.  I have seen me change from a secluded minded person to something bigger and greater.  I have come to love the world around me and imputed with a desire to explore its depth.  Never before in my life have I longed to travel or to reside out in a desert.  I’ve never been to a desert.  I’ve never traveled somewhere simply with friends – but maybe one day I will.

In the past, when I’ve heard of people’s wanderlust – I’ve found it ridiculous.  However, there is nothing ridiculous there.

I dream of simplicity.  I hope to gain it soon.

the frozen tree in between

A presentation about stories, life, and living in the winter.

book list from my professor, brent cline

A list of books I don’t want to lose.

Olive Sacks (everything)
Jon Krakauer (everything)
Joan Didion: The White Album, The Year of Magical Thinking
Tracy Kidder: Home Town, Mountains Beyond Mountains
Susan Orlean: The Orchid Thief
Simon Winchester: The Professor and the Madman
Barbara Kingsolver: Animal, Vegetable, Miracle
John Hersey: Hiroshima
Darin Strauss: Half a Life
Lauren Slater: Welcome to My Country
Jonathan Weiner: The Beak of the Flinch
Ian Frazier: Great Plains
John McPhee: Uncommon Carriers (and everything else—he’s prolific)

Mark Richard: House of Prayer No. 2
Dennis Covington: Salvation on Sand Mountain

Graham Greene: The Power and the Glory (a novel to set me right with fiction)

put it all in a box and close the door

“This is what you’re going to do,” she told me seriously, her eyes on me.  ”You’re going to imagine a box  - in your mind – empty.  Then you’re gonna start putting in all the things that are worrying you and put the lid on.  After you’ve done that, you’ll wrap it with wrapping paper and a bow.  Then go into a closet and put it up as high as you can – you can even use a ladder if need be.  So, go into your closet, use your ladder and put the box on the top shelf – because that’s God’s shelf.  Then close the door.”

i like these days

Certain days give me strength.  They remind me of sovereignty.  Of goodness.

The weather was absolutely beautiful today.  I got to wear shorts and not feel like I was freezing.  I love warm weather – there’s just something to it.

I ate lunch with this great girl, today.  Her name is Kelly and just the thought of her makes me smile.  She’s so passionate and driven.  So precious.  Her eyes lit up when she speaks about something dear to her heart.  I have felt so privileged getting to know her.

With a class canceled today, I found myself with extra time.

I returned to my apartment and then left about an hour later on a bike.

At 3:30 I had plans with a friend.  Her name is Melodie and we’ve been trying to get together all year.  We barely know each other; once last year, we had a really amazing talk.  By accident.  Anyways.  Our meet was so wonderful.  We just sat outside and chatted for two hours.  Random people came by and the day just slipped by nicely.

I learned lots I did not know.

After that, I went on a bike ride out to the lake.  Spent some time alone enjoying the nice evening.

Currently my legs are warn-out by the long day, but the simpleness runs with me.

Today was a good day.

a response to dr. professor of mine

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.

Psalm 51:10

to dr. professor of mine

The darkness of man is scary.
Hatred moves in slowly and finds
a way to take control.  I hear it mock my weakness
Tell me how silly I am.  How can I refuse the power of darkness?  My mind
My brain hurts.  I cry out of despair; what is this feeling?  A bitterness,
a hatred?

Beckoning me to follow.  Shallow myself in anger, fury.  I want to defend myself, not
trample over my pride and lay silent.  The thought of allowing him to believe
I accept and believe, I am wrong, APPALLS ME.

I want him to pay.  I want him to feel crushed and defeated.  Spoken to as if he is a child.  I
want to make him cry, as I cried.  Bitter and painful.  Lost and in despair.

Hatred.  This is hatred and it scares me.  This is not me.  This is darkness.

matthew 6:22-23

The eye is the lamp of the body.  So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness.  If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!

10 points — guess who wrote this

We’re all a little crazy.
Ya know,
just a world full of crazies
looking
for something to do.